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MP Rigathi Gachagua is a born ass kisser, now kissing Ruto’s ass

By Correspondent

One day in the mid 80s, Martin Shikuku, then Butere MP strolled majestically into parliament carrying a pile of documents that made him walk at an academic angle.

 On entering parliament, Shikuku moved an adjournment motion to discuss a matter of national importance.

The matter Shikuku wanted discussed was about the corruption in the Chief Secretary Office, the holder of the office was Simeon Nyachae.

Shikuku tabled document after document to prove his case and MPs were impressed by his thoroughness.

 But then Shikuku digressed when he directed his assaults at Nyachae as a person, calling him a bootlicker, a colonial relic who kissed Indians asses and a person not worthy of that office.

The corruption Shikuku was talking about was in the sugar industry where preferred Indian businessmen were allowed to import sugar duty free.

Shikuku at the time was an assistant minister in the

Office of the President and had means to get confidential information.

President Daniel arap Moi sacked him a few days and while leaving office, Shikuku famously told journalists that he does not kiss asses.

The politics of kissing asses have been brought back by Mathira MP Rigathi Gachagua who over the weekend accused his Kieni counterpart Kanini Kega of bootlicking.

I listened to the video clip on the same and thought that was rich coming from Rigathi as it was though he was describing himself.

It was a case of “Nyani haoni kundule lake’ as Rigathi is the best ass kisser in this country.

The young people who cheer Rigathi as he calls his fellow politicians names don’t know Rigathi history and maybe this is the reason why the UDA crowd is always uncomfortable with anything history and especially the history of 90s moving forward.

Rigathi was a DO of Molo during the tribal clashes of the 90s and this is not a problem as he was qualified to be so.

The problem is that the man was used by Moi to facilitate the eviction and killing of his kinsmen.

As a DO Rigathi was given the mandate by Moi to replace all the Kikuyu chiefs in the hotspots areas with Kalenjin chiefs.

This made it easier for the marauding warriors to attack the so called wrong tribe.

By betraying his people, Rigathi was handsomely rewarded by Moi and his wealth can be traced to those dark days.

Rigathi is a born ass kisser and today he must be missing the good old days when he kissed Moi’s ass and got handsomely rewarded.

President Mwai Kibaki did not encourage ass kissing and President Uhuru Kenyatta has followed suit and this must have put the likes of Rigathi in difficult situation, there are no asses to kiss.

Luckily for him, William Ruto doesn’t mind having his ass kissed and Rigathi has been kissing it since 2018 but he doesn’t seem contented.

But why is Rigathi not contented in kissing Ruto’s ass?

Well, maybe the best ass to kiss is that of the president and no wonder Rigathi is hell bent in ensuring Ruto becomes president.

Rigathi has recruited quite a number of potential kissers, Kikuyu MP Kimani Ichungwa, Kiharu’s Ndindi Nyoro, Kandara’s Alice Wahome, Murang’a Senator Irungu Kangata and many others are fast learning the art of ass kissing.

Majority of politician from the party called UDA are ass kissers.

They kiss Ruto’s ass so as to get favors from him, what those favours are is not yet clear.

Ruto on the other hand is busy kicking the assess of politicians who don’t toe the line, like it happened with Purity Ngirici, Kirinyaga Woman Representative.

 A vocal UDA politician from Othaya will also have his ass kicked very soon, and this has gotten the man really worried.

In UDA, there are two types of politicians, those who kick assess and those who kiss the ass, Ruto, Oscar Sudi and Kipchumba Murkomen kick assess, the rest kiss the ass of the big boss man, Rigathi included.


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